i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
