I like my sex mixed with concussions.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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