How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
