Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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