I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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