I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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