That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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