2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
love makes seman taste better
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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