lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
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These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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