Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if only i could text you this smell
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
