next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His hands were made for my vagina.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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