bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
