She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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