i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
