I want to make a zoo with you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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