New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
