Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
you made out with another girl for some wings
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
