My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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