she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Cover your peen. We're going out.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
