oh god the rape fog is back!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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