I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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