why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
