call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
