Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My vagina just clenched in fear
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The ass gains better be worth it
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