He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
