what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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