Me too!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
