elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
