I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
