This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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