i just wanna soil my oats bro
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
