So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
