We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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