Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
