My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So many bounce houses so little time
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize