We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
