if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
