Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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