so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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