New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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