I can tuck mytits in my pants
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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