Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You ruined the universe
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize