I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
