Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
