READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
