So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
