And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
