honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
