Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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