The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
