And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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