If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
