Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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