I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
