Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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