A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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