dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
