no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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