maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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