if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
the raccoons are back...
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