Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
