I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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