after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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